disconnected

How is it that we define ourselves?  I've been pondering this for a couple of weeks.  Do you define yourself by your religion - Christian, Catholic, Muslim, Jewish, Atheist?  Is it your heritage - Scottish, Lebanese, Australian, Haitian? Is it your hair colour, eye colour, skin colour?  Your education?  Your job? Your children? Your body?  My guess is that for most it is a little of everything and it is always changing.  Everyday, every life experience must change the definition we have of ourselves.  How could it not? 
I wonder about pain.  Do you think pain is part of the what defines us?  I never thought I did until recently.  I'm not a sick person.  I've had my share of the regular stuff, of course.  And, earlier this year, I was diagnosed with a blood disorder, ITP, which doesn't really bother me at all.  But I've had joint pain a long time.  Half my life at this point.  No diagnosis, just annoying pain, always there in the back ground of my life.  Two weeks ago I got a diagnosis of a degenerative connective tissue disorder.  It's nice to know that I'm not crazy, I guess.  It was a bit of a shock tho I don't know why.  Anyway, I was given a type of medication that should help reduce my joint pain dramatically.   Great news, right?  It should be, for sure, so why am not taking the medication?  Oh, I started to take it.  But it made me feel nauseous.  And I have to take it twice a day forever.  And who am I if I don't have pain?  I really think this is it.  What if my pain goes away?  My pain has defined my space for so long how will I know where my body  begins and ends?  Where my fingers connect to my hands, where my hands connect to my arms.   My feet, ankles, knees, hips.  If I don't feel all my joints all of the time how am I connected together?  Does my pain define that much of me?  Will I be a different person?  It must change how I would define myself.  But how could it be for the worse?  Why am so afraid?  Not sure, not sure.